A note from Wanda:
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A Letter, Not an Intro
Hey Friend,
Lately I’ve been thinking about all the times I quietly nodded “yes” while everything in me was whispering “no.”
The family gatherings where I laughed along at things that didn’t sit right.
The meetings where I let the louder voice “win” even when I knew the facts.
The friendships where I made myself smaller because it felt safer than being seen.
At the time, I told myself I was just “keeping the peace.”
But peace built on pretending never really feels like peace. It feels like holding your breath.
Maybe you’ve done that too—agreed with the group, not because it was true for you, but because standing alone felt like too big a risk. If so, I want you to know: there is nothing wrong with you. The need to belong is deeply human. Your nervous system is wired to believe, “If I’m alone, I’m not safe.”
But there comes a quiet moment when your soul starts asking a different question:
What is this need to belong actually costing me?
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Why This Matters
You’re “Going Along” is becoming self-abandonment.
There’s a kind of belonging that asks you to come as you are.
And there’s another kind that quietly requires you to disappear.
The second one can be hard to spot because it looks “normal.” You laugh when everyone laughs. You clap when they clap. You nod when they nod. From the outside, it looks like unity. On the inside, it feels like a slow, steady betrayal.
Every time you swallow your truth to “keep things smooth,” you’re not just avoiding conflict—you’re teaching your body that your voice is dangerous.
You’re teaching your spirit that approval is more important than alignment.
You’re teaching your intuition that its whisper doesn’t matter.
Real belonging never demands your silence. Authentic community doesn’t punish you for having a different lens, a different experience, a different conviction. It might not always agree with you, but it will make room for you.
Sometimes the most honest thing you can say is not a speech—it’s simply, “I see this differently.”
Not to start a fight. Not to prove anything. Just to stop abandoning yourself.
There is a tenderness to this kind of courage. It’s not loud or dramatic. It sounds more like:
“I love you—and I can’t pretend this feels true for me.”
“I want to stay conected, but not at the cost of disappearing.”
The moment you choose that kind of honesty, you begin reclaiming your inner authority. You’re no longer letting the group decide who you get to be.
You’re rooting back into yourself.
If any part of this touches something in you, I invite you to simply notice:
Where do you feel that familiar tightness in your chest before you speak?
In what rooms do you find yourself pretending to agree, just to stay inside the circle?
You don’t have to fix it all at once. Just noticing is a holy beginning.
If you’d like to sit with this more, this week’s podcast episode explores how groupthink shows up in our real lives and what it means to belong without betraying yourself.
Podcast Episode
If you’re craving a bit of companionship on the path this week, you can press play on week’s Liberating Living™ podcast:
Podcast: “What It Costs to Go along to Get Along”
Just one episode to walk with you.
That’s it for this week.
May you feel safe enough this week to tell yourself the truth.
May you remember that your difference is not a problem to fix, but a gift to honor.
May every room you walk into make space for your full, honest presence—or gently reveal that it’s time to loosen your grip.
Keep showing up for you. Keep flowing in freedom! 💜
Liberating Living Weekly
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